


First Language

by insanityinside



Category: Dororo (Anime 2019)
Genre: Attempts at communication, But mostly fluff, Gen, Some angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-18
Updated: 2019-05-18
Packaged: 2020-03-07 12:03:10
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,443
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18872836
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/insanityinside/pseuds/insanityinside
Summary: He didn’t even notice when it became a kind of language. A strange language with no words that he could speak, but not understand.





	First Language

When observed from a distance, Hyakkimaru was almost indistinguishable from a normal healthy child. With the help of some of Jukai’s best work, he had been walking by the time he was two years old, running before he was three and by the time he was four he had largely stopped running into things. Jukai watched all this with a mixture of fatherly pride and astonishment. He had never expected this strange child to achieve all these things so easily and he still didn’t understand how he managed some of them.

The boy was curious, too, like any other child. He spent his days exploring his surroundings with such senses as he had. Compelled by some instinct shared by all small children, he reached for things, touched them with his unfeeling wooden fingers. Sometimes, he would grab objects or small animals and bring them up to his unseeing eyes or put them in his mouth, which probably couldn’t taste very much. Jukai often wondered how much he could actually learn about the world by doing all this. Probably not enough, but Hyakkimaru kept trying anyway. 

Jukai wished that he could teach him things like a real parent. He wished he could make ears that could hear, so that he could tell him about the world. But, of course, there was a limit to what he could carve out of wood and how intricately he could put the pieces together. He spoke to his child nonetheless. After all, there was no reason not to. Usually there was no response. However...

‘Watch out!’ Jukai cried out instinctively when he saw Hyakkimaru reach for something or other across the fireplace. He rushed over to the boy, ready to grab his wrist and guide his hand away from the flame. But by the time he was close enough to do that, Hyakkimaru had already withdrawn his hand. He turned to face his adoptive father, his head tilted slightly, his expressionless mask of a face somehow managing to look puzzled. Jukai stared.

‘Did you... hear that?’ he whispered, but of course, the boy did not answer.

For the next couple of weeks Jukai watched his son even more closely than usual. And, sure enough, while Hyakkimaru completely ignored most of what anyone said or did, he always seemed to know when he was being scolded or praised. He had also somehow learnt to follow Jukai, without the need to lead him by the hand. When patients or guests showed up at the doctor’s house, the boy could somehow tell which ones were curious about him, and which ones found him unsettling. He tended to sulk outside when he sensed the latter and wander closer to the former, as if to get a good look at them. They didn’t even have to let their attitude toward him show. He just knew. The doctor realized that, while the boy couldn’t exactly read minds, he could somehow get the gist of a person’s disposition and emotional state. 

And Jukai hated to admit it, but this scared him. Sure, he was doing his best to be a good person these days, but it had not always been this way. What if his child could sense his regret, his guilt, his fear of being found out?

One night Jukai awoke with a start. He had been dreaming about the past again. The gory imagery of the war was still vivid in his mind. He supposed that he would never deserve to forget it. He sat up and glanced over at Hyakkimaru. He could just about make out his shape in the dark. As far as he could tell, the boy was fast asleep. With his limited senses, nothing short of an earthquake could wake this child up when he wanted to sleep.

That was good. Jukai really didn’t want the boy to see him like that, overwhelmed by the memories of his former self. Oh gods, what if his brutal past had left a mark on him that Hyakkimaru could sense? What if he understands what it means some day. What if he grows to hate or fear his adoptive father? Jukai had spent many years trying to act like a good person. Most people couldn’t tell, or believe, that he had ever been anything else. But how do you keep a secret from someone who can see right into your soul, and who can’t hear your lies?

Jukai was not sure how long he’d been sitting there, lost in the darkest of thoughts, when he became aware of something warm pressed against his back. He sat up straight. His eyes had become quite used to the darkness. He looked at Hyakkimaru’s futon. It was empty. Two tiny wooden arms tried to wrap themselves around his chest.

‘Oh... You’re awake?’

No response. Just the weight of a small child leaning on his back.

‘Is there something wrong?’

The wooden embrace grew a little tighter. The boy’s head appeared over Jukai’s shoulder. Maybe it was the slightly open mouth that gave his face a concerned look.

‘Oh! I’m fine. Just had a bad dream, that’s all.’

But Hyakkimaru wasn’t buying it. Obviously. He wasn’t even aware it was being sold. Jukai realized that he was still shaking a little. The boy could probably feel it, lying on his back like that. Jukai took a deep breath.

‘There. It’s nothing.’ He forced himself to be still, then relaxed his body. But Hyakkimaru was still there, desperately trying to comfort him. He must have sensed some of what was going through Jukai’s mind, and still decided to be there for him. Sweet kid. 

They stayed that way for another minute or two, until the boy decided that his job here was done. He hugged Jukai tightly one more time, as if to say ‘It’s okay now. Don’t worry’ and let go. Jukai turned around and hugged him back.

‘Thank you,’ he said and he was almost sure that the boy knew he meant it, even if he couldn't hear him say it.

Although he was calmer now, it still took him a while to get back to sleep. As he lay there, it occurred to him that what had just happened between the two of them had been a conversation of sorts. And if they could do it once, surely they could figure out how to do it again.

Some things were easy to communicate. In fact, Jukai had been doing it all along, without realizing it. ‘Stop that!’, ‘Come here’, ‘I love you’. Those were the easy ones. With a little effort he could get across slightly more complicated concepts such as ‘work’, ‘play’, ‘home’. Through increasingly complex emotional pantomime, he could eventually convey such things as ‘Go play outside’ and ‘Don’t wander too far’. He didn’t even notice when it became a kind of language. A strange language with no words that he could speak, but not understand.

Hyakkimaru seemed to realize that Jukai was having trouble understanding him. Sometimes he would exaggerate his gestures and body language with the air of one speaking loudly and clearly to someone who was hard of hearing. It made Jukai feel like he was the one lacking some obscure yet crucial sense. And still he didn’t know how to tell his son ‘If only I could make you a face that can smile and frown, maybe I could understand you better’.

That wasn’t an option, of course, but what if there was another way? It was crazy, he knew. It was a complex idea and, even now, after months of trying, most of what he’d been able to communicate to his son was pretty simple. He did have some ideas, though. In his months of trying to learn the only language his son understood, Jukai had learnt to control his emotions pretty well. Maybe this could be the key to teaching the boy the characters for joy, sadness and so on. Then he could hand the boy various objects and, once he’d figured out what they were, show him how to write the words. Jukai didn’t expect his son to ever become fluent in any real-world language, spoken or written, but he figured he could learn a few dozen characters. At last, one day, he asked the boy to follow him outside. They began their first lesson.

It took Hyakkimaru all morning to wrap his mind around the concept of expressing things through arbitrary symbols, but once he did, he could learn several characters a day. And perhaps he would never be quite like a normal healthy child, but every day he got a little bit closer.


End file.
